"The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz

I just finished reading the book "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. This is the third time I have read it and I must say it gets better each time. This book contains some great wisdom when it comes to freeing ourselves of the emotional bondage we keep "ourselves" in. He explains clearly how we are our own biggest obstacle to "freedom".

The four agreements are:
1. Be impeccable with your word
2. Do not take anything personally
3. Do not make assumptions
4. Always do your best

When we are impeccable with our words it means essentially that we do not say anything that is detrimental to ourselves. When we follow this agreement with ourselves we also naturally will not say anything that is harmful to others because it would only return something negative to us which would be a violation of the principle to not cause ourselves harm with our words.

When we do not take anything personally we gain enormous freedom from the toxic poison that others spew in our direction. We have to pick up the offense or take into ourselves the poison words before they can damage us, therefore do not take anything personally and avoid being complicit in your own demise. Remember that when someone is spewing toxic remarks your way they are really saying something about themselves and what they believe. You do not have to take it in or agree with them. If you do then you are making their beliefs your own which is not to your benefit. Let it pass you by. Do not even bother defending yourself because that gives credence to their argument or opinion.

When we make assumptions we are creating a dream/fantasy in our head that is based solely on what we "think" or "feel" may be happening and not what is happening in reality because we do not have the facts. Instead of making assumptions either have the courage to ask questions to get clarification or just let it go knowing that you will fall prey to all kinds of emotional stress if you entertain assumptions which usually become negative. Making assumptions frequently ends in distressed relationships.

"Always do your best" is about taking action. If you always do your best without expectation of a reward you are going to have far better outcomes than if you feel like you "have to do your best" to obtain a reward or to avoid negative consequences. "Always do your best" because you want to, not because you have to. Also realize that "your best" will vary and do not judge yourself.

Remember that we judge ourselves far more severely than anyone else judges us. It may not seem that way on the surface but it is true. If someone else is judging you severely and you believe it is negatively affecting you ask yourself "why"? It is because on some level you believe what they are saying and your internal judge is heaping the coals on your head even more. If you do not believe them and do not take it personally it would not bother you because you would know that their judgment is their problem, NOT YOURS!

I highly recommend this book to everyone.

God Bless You All

Kenneth