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Thursday, November 20, 2008

Overcoming Rejection

This article is straight forward and to the point. No one deserves to be rejected, however it is the rejected party's responsibility to chose whether they will let the rejection determine their response (which will be negative) or will they consciously choose to process the rejection in light of "reality", it is simply the other person's choice. You do not have to integrate their negative view of you into your sense of self. YOU CHOOSE to define yourself not them. NEVER let someone else define who you are. It may be incredibly painful but you have to let them go if that is their choice.

For a great book dealing with controlling people who reject you go to "Control Freaks".
clipped from www.4therapy.com

Rejection creates a feeling of being unwanted which then reduces self esteem. The more intimate the relationship in which rejection is experienced, the greater the damage done, and the more challenging it can be to overcome the effects.

Although rejection may occur in entirely different spheres of human relationships, it generally conveys the same messages of non-acceptance such as:
• There is something wrong with you.



• You are disliked.



• You will never change.



• You do not belong in this group.



• You are at fault / you did something wrong, or unacceptable.



• You are not one of us.

The ability to subvert the harmful, long lasting effects of being rejected depends on your ability to understand the behavior of the individual who rejects, the way you choose to interpret the messages conveyed by rejection, and how you choose to integrate those messages into your sense of self.
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