Who Defines YOU?

Some people will "make up" your reality, as if they were you, ("I know you better than you know yourself"). When this happens there is no doubt they are trying to control you, whether they are conscious of it or not. They are simply "pretending" as if you do not really exist or could possibly have a reality of your own apart from what they determine in their mind.

They are pretending because it is impossible for someone to know another's inner reality, desires, motives, feelings, thoughts, likes, dislikes, your level of knowledge or who you are. You and only you can define yourself. No one has the right to define another being and you do not have to prove or convince someone else. You only have to know yourself. If someone else will not accept your self-definition they are trying to control you.

Do not fall prey as I did to believing that someone who defines you is wise or logical (no matter how good their argument is). If you do you are only allowing yourself to be blinded by incredible nonsense. Patricia Evans states the following, "What blinds people the most to controlling behavior is the belief that the person who consistently defines them truly loves them".

Inner confidence is difficult to have and keep when your own truth and reality is constantly being denied (often with an attitude of blame, righteousness and guilting). Then you slowly lose awareness of you own self which robs you of the ability to respond to your own internal needs. This happens little by little every time we choose to allow someone else to define us and our reality. In doing so we are agreeing with the lie that our own experience was/is not real.

The final outcome is we lose the ability to trust ourselves and thus ususally become dependent on the very person who is trying to exert control over us.

We have to own responsibility for ourselves and not fall into the blame game. While it may be true that someone is behaving toward us in a controlling manner it is ultimately our responsibility to not accept the lies being directed at us and in love stand firm against such behavior or we are willingly giving up on ourselves. This is by no means easy however GOD did not make a mistake when he created you and He gave all of us the same gift, a unique SELF, that is capable of experiencing life on this earth without the need to have someone else tell us what that is.

Thanks for listeing. If you are interested in more and better information on the subject of Control Freaks (there is one in each of us to some degree) check out the linked book cover below.

Kenneth